Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Be who you already are.

'Ferris Bueller' star Mia Sara returns to the red carpet after 14-year movie hiatus: 'I'm very grateful!' - Entertainment Weekly

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

What do you think of Obito Uchiha?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I had run out of hope.

Do you consider yourself pretty?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

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Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

And the sadness?

It’s still here.

How has your life changed for the past 10 years? Can you share your #10year challenge? Is your life better, worse, or still hopeful?

It’s here now, writing to you.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Column | Nervous about using the bathroom at work? A gastroenterologist shares advice. - The Washington Post

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s true, cutting calories will make you depressed - The Times

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I listened to Kamala Harris speech she gave in North Carolina. I support 100% of what she said. I am more and more in favor of a Kamala Harris presidency if Biden becomes unable to be our president! Do you find yourself supporting Kamala Harris now?

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why do most atheists in debates with theists take Bible verses out of context much of the time? Are they lying maliciously or do they not understand theology enough to understand the meaning?

You are like me, then.

The sadness was still there.